The Midas touch - (Monday 30 June)

Don't forget this afternoon on Radio 3 starting at 2.40pm there is a concert by Gosta Nystroem: Sinfonia del mare with Ailish Tynan (soprano) and the BBC Symphony Orchestra with John Storgards (conductor) Tartini, arr Kreisler: Devil's Trill SonataIlya Gringolts (violin) Ashley Wass (piano) - unfortunately this clashes with Tarzans Celebrity Cook's Challenge at 3.00pm on ITV1 - decisions, decisions !

Well what a week last week was, at times it felt like we had the Midas touch - everything we could have hoped for and more besides - venues that potentially included Bingo, Football, Curry, Supermarkets, Clothes shopping and with Tiger Tiger a finishing venue to end all finishing venues !!

So what next ? sit back, relax and smoke cigars and wait for the big day ?

Far from it... this is where the hard work really starts with agreeing the route, times for Tarzan, Jane and the Banana to make their appearances, arranging support teams and volunteers to help with collections on the day, more PR work for the team with planned radio interviews, magazine articles to be written and published all this and much much more (... not forgetting some training to ensure we are physically ready for 13th September) - for a start I've not run anything longer than a few hundred metres with full make up on - will it run ? will my bra rub or do I need to buy a sports bra !!?

Jane x

Burning Bright (Saturday 28th June)

Oh, go on then.

Tarzan, Jane and the banana are delighted to announce that the finishing venue and monster party will be at Manchester's top venue Tiger Tiger .

www.tigertiger-manch.co.uk/

We couldn't have asked for a better place to celebrate. So clear your diaries for the evening of Saturday September 13th. More to be revealed during the week.

A massive thanks to the marvellous Suzy Dee for offering so much in support of Leukaemia Research.

Tarzan

ps, if anyone is interested I am on the first of a new series of Celebrity Cook's Challenge at 3.00pm this Monday on ITV1. It was filmed a while ago so no mention of the bananathon I am afraid.

The Start (Friday June 27th)

After the excitement of yesterday, today was a day of reflection.

Yes, I know I haven’t revealed what happened at the meeting, sometimes just like on the telly, you get a cliff-hanger and then you have to wait a few days for the denouement.

I gathered all my bits of paper with venues details and ideas on and made a proper file to put them in and then had a good luck at the venues on Google Maps. What a great facility this is. You can mark landmarks on the map and measure the distance between them. You can also then switch to satellite mode and view the landscape photographically from above. This is particularly useful when looking for footpaths and cut-throughs for a route.

Although we had it in our minds to start the event at Manchester Royal Infirmary, I was reticent to confirm it as the start in case a glut of time specific visits and the final venue ended up somewhere way out of town. LRF were very keen on the start being at MRI and after I had spoken to Tom Holloway at the fund it was clear that it made total sense to do that.

Money from the event will fund research programmes at hospitals throughout the country and bringing the focus of the media to Manchester Royal Infirmary and tying that in with Leukaemia Research Fund raises the realisation of this at the start of Leukaemia Awareness Week.

At the press launch a couple of weeks ago I suggested to Guy Lucas, Consultant Haematologist at MRI, that the fund might be able to ring fence the money raised to go directly to the hospital. He told me that the best way to help the people of Manchester who had Leukaemia was to spend the money at the hospital which was doing the best research and that this was a moveable feast.

To illustrate this; in the news over the last few weeks have been the new £3 million Paul O’Gorman Leukaemia Research Centre at Gartnavel Hospital in Glasgow (www.lrf.org.uk/en/1/res20jun08.html) and the groundbreaking work done in Newcastle (www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/111954.php).

A couple of the daytime venues had time specific visits. We need to be in Belle Vue at 2.30pm and in Reddish either before 12.45pm or after 2.40pm, but probably before 5.15pm. It will all become clear why when we start naming venues over the next week.

With a start at MRI at 10.00am and a journey taking in the time-specific venues, the other venues and the….(did I mention we have a fantastic) finishing venue, a route map is beginning to form……

Tarzan

I Saw That One (Thursday June 26th)

After the success of just turning up at places that we liked the look of yesterday, we decided to tweak the plan and 'just turn up' at places that we had previously earmarked as great possible venues.

In the wake of Ascot and discussion of the Queen's attire, I chose to wear a pair of dark jeans with an LRF banana army tee shirt, whereas Sean opted for khaki shorts and an LRF running vest. We really know how to dress to impress.

First stop was a huge curry house on the A6, an impressively ornate building, buzzing with workmen (if only Sean had been dressed as Jane). We gave our pitch to the attentive duty manager and he told us to email the boss with the details. We got the feeling he had not heard of ITV1's long running serial drama set in the Yorkshire Dales. A lead, but no visit.

We then went to one of Manchester's top sporting venues and were lucky to get a meeting with their charity co-ordinator who said she would do her best to accomodate us, but that it was really out of her hands. The fact that this lady had a preference for early evening rural soaps was a deciding factor in her meeting us. Great to get a meeting with such a busy person, but no visit.

We then concentrated on finding a final venue. We had received a great offer from a pub in Marple, but geographically it was looking very difficult to fit in. With a number of venues in place twenty six miles suddenly didn't seem long enough with all the twists and turns.

I had tried to get in touch with the right person at both The Academy and Jabezz Clegg. Venues which were close to MRI, held a lot of people and would be full of students in September, giving pretty much a guaranteed crowd for the evening do.

The Academy is an amazing music venue and I knew White Van Man would be cock a hoop to play there. I had to call in to pick some tickets up for a My Morning Jacket gig so thought it would be a good chance to see if the chap who booked the bands was in. When we got to the ticket booth the lady immediately remembered she had spoken to me last week and offered to track down the man in charge or someone from that department.

Louise, who I had exchanged emails with , then showed us around the Club Academy Room, a 550 capacity venue. It looked pretty much perfect for what we had in mind. A proper stage for the band, big dancefloor, bar on one side and seating area at the back. Most importantly it was within half a mile of MRI. We would have had to pay a fee for the room, but the price covered a soundman, PA and ticketing and publicity for the event and would have allowed free entry for the army of volunteers and people offering their services on the day. We worked out that at £10 a head we would only need to force....er encourage 55 people to pay for entry and then anything on top was the charity's money. I came away buzzing.

We then walked up and down Oxford Road looking for Jabez Clegg. We called into a flower shop to ask directions and spoke to a lovely woman who was an experienced marathon runner and interested in what we were doing. On seeing the picture of Tarzan, Jane and the banana she said "I saw that one!" pointing at the gorgeous image of Jane, "Last week, running up and down". She had seen us at the MRI press launch, but just like the builders only had eyes for Jane. When I pointed out that Sean, who was stood right next to her, was Jane she did a strange half laugh, half gurgle of terror and gave us possibly the most inaccurate directions to a place in human history. We walked for what seemed like a marathon distance before jacking it in and moving on. The fickle finger of fate.

The previous night I had a call from a mate, Gav. We chatted, swapped a few tales and I told him about the Bananathon. He said that his partner Suzy had recently changed jobs and was working at a venue and might be able to help us. We knew we would be in town on Thursday so arranged to meet at the venue for lunch. We had all four met before, so it seemed a good excuse for a catch up, if nothing else.

Little did we know what was in store.....

Fantastic Four (Wednesday June 25th)

What an amazing day. Sir Alan would have been proud. I can see why the contestants get so excited.

We have met some brilliant people today who really embraced what this event is about and the result is four visit venues for the bananathon and absolute crackers at that. The magic clipboard mesmerised the good people of Denton, Reddish, Bredbury and Gorton. So, all being well, that is nine venues in place.

We will name one venue a day as from Monday, tell you a bit about each one and what they plan to do for the event.

Had this really been the Apprentice today I would have been sacked by lunchtime as I realised that the phone number I have been giving for people to contact LRF was in fact a fax number. What an idiot. No wonder the fund haven’t had many calls. At least it gave me and Sean an idea for our next ‘film’. Watch this space.

Tarzan

Just Like Ronaldo (Tuesday 24th June)

Yes, just like old twinkle toes, we are on the brink of announcing something. Only for us, it's the next batch of the, hopefully, 26 venues we will be visiting on the bananathon, made up of a start, twenty four visits and a finishing venue for the party.


Going back to my birthtown tomorrow, I'm obviously not famous enough to make Jane's list, but I am looking forward to nursing my broken nose, from having so many doors closed on it.

Sean, with his highbrow business experience will no doubt have closed more deals than 'The Badger' come twelve o'clock, but he has not counted on my secret weapon. A specially adapted clipboard with hypnotic properties complete with a pen holder with mystical powers designed to tantalise the tradesfolk of Tameside. Spooky.


Tarzan

Smooth or hairy ? - (Monday 23 June)

Well I had to quickly post something on the blog, just anything to get those half naked pictures of Tony and Chitters off the front page - I ask you, who wants to see near naked pictures of beer bellied middle aged celebrities when you could be looking at a picture of an athletic looking hairy arsed man dressed as a woman - no wonder the speed of donations over the last 24 hours has slowed down, I'm sure this picture will change all that !

I'm quite enjoying my new found fame of being classed as either 'a man in drag' (The Sun 19 June) or 'Dad your a freak' (My son 23 June) - the pictures taken some weeks ago by Helen Turton seem to have found their way onto many weird and wonderful web sites and many publications - the best quote I've seen describes our friend Tom McNally as 'a poor soul dressed as a banana !'.

Later in the week we will be out pounding the streets of that North West shopping Mecca known as Denton to hopefully link it in nicely to Tarzans bananathon - there's a lot that's been said about Denton, most of which can be ignored, but its gone through a revival over the last couple of years and we are looking forward to meeting some of the great characters who live and work there.

Talking of great Denton characters I bet you didn't know that these good folks started off in Denton :

Jimmy Armfield OBE, England footballer and mumbling radio commentator and also now Freeman of the Borough of Blackpool.

Thomas Bowler and his uncle William who were both hat makers were born in Denton and moved to Southwark in London around 1840, where they became involved in the development of the hat which now bears their name.

That great looking ginger crooner Mick Hucknall, who became the lead singer of Simply Red lived in Denton and attended Audenshaw Grammar School and my mum used to work with his sister in law making shirts !

Sir Geoff Hurst the West Ham United and England 1966 World Cup footballer lived in Denton until he was 8-years old. His proud grandfather lived on Cemetery Road until his death.

Brian Statham, regarded as one of the greatest Lancashire and England bowlers ever. As you can see the list is endless so you can understand why we want to go there !

Anyway back to the question in the title - come the big day (September 13th) should I run with smooth ladylike legs or keep them hairy and manly, and if they were to become smooth should they be shaved, waxed (ouch!) or use one of those girly creams - I'm trying hard not to sound like an expert in body hair removal so perhaps I'll keep deliberating that question till nearer the time.

Keep up the great work everybody and look out Denton here we come !

Jane x

Here Comes The Sun (Sunday June 22nd)

The Sun is usually known for having his hat on, but this time, it's hats and pretty much everything else off to the nation's favourite tabloid for finding a spurious headline from ITV.com's coverage of Tarzan's Bananathon.

http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/showbiz/tv/soaps/article1314188.ece

My only surprise is that they didn't use the photograph above to accompany the copy.

Taken about five years ago, I had forgotten about it's existance until I attended an LRF fundraising ball in Leeds last year and 'enjoyed' it's repeated showing in a slide show on two huge screens throughout the evening. Thank goodness I have since been assured that this is the only copy and it will not be viewed by man or beast again.

Tarzan

The Birth Of The Bananathon (Saturday 21st June)

I can’t say how exciting the last week has been, to see the seed of an idea grow into a seedling of an event, a plant of publicity and soon to be a towering tree of something beginning with ‘T’. Pulling a hamstring a fortnight ago has given me too much time in the garden and not enough time running, although striding along the hills of the High Peak in February is where I first had the idea of what has turned into Tarzan’s Bananathon.

Doing so many races makes it really difficult to go around the same people asking for sponsorship. Being on the telly, people assume all your mates are minted, but the reality is they are as tight as a monkey’s fist and those big cars slurp a hell of a lot of diesel. Not really, folk at work have always been incredibly generous but a lot of them are constantly raising money for their own charities, so it isn’t the goldmine you might think. I wanted to come up with an idea that was a bit different to physically pull some money in so that I wasn’t just a ‘face at a race’. Some sort of an urban marathon.

I plotted out a route on Google maps from Oldham to Manchester City Centre, stopping at places I knew along the way; Audenshaw, Denton, Bredbury, Stockport and the distance magically came out at 26.2 miles, exactly the same as a full marathon distance. Seeing this as fate, I told my wife Ruth that I had come up with a vague idea of doing a marathon on my own with stops along the way at some shops to try and get donations for the Banana Army. Ruth gave it the all important seal of approval and offered to help, although neither of us had a clue what would need doing.

The next three people I told were pivotal. I separately had a word with fellow Stockport Harriers Sean Whewell and Tom McNally and they both thought the idea was great, not only offered to help, but offered to run the event with me. Suddenly faced with the prospect that everybody I let in on the plan would want to join me on the streets of Manchester, all very nice but hugely impractical, I decided to keep it under wraps apart from one inspirational figure and gave LRF’s celebrity running guru Ken Lomas a call with the words he loves to hear “Ken, I’ve got an idea”

Ken gave the usual response “Oh, Bloody Hell” and set the wheels in motion at Leukaemia Research Head Office.

With the cogs working overtime and a hugely enjoyable 2007 Flora London Marathon under my belt dressed as Elvis , thanks to another pesky injury (Presley, not Costello. Too hard to keep the pork pie hat on when you are running). I decided to run the 2008 in fancy dress again and as I was relatively fit, wanted to run in a light costume that would have some connection with the Banana Army. When Fran from the London Marathon press office gave me the green light not to wear a vest there was only one choice. Tarzan.

The crowd at London gave a great response to the costume and wonder of wonders, no chafing! Three hours, one minute and fifty five seconds later and there was no doubt the event later in the year should be Tarzan themed.

A few weeks after the marathon Kate White from LRF came up North for a meeting with me and Tom. We sat and discussed various aspects of the event; how it would work, should we open it to all sorts of venues, should start with a 5k race, a party at the end, should it take in famous landmarks, how long would it take to run it. Then we came to the sticky issue of what Tom and Sean should wear if I was Tarzan. It was decided one of them would be a banana and the other one would be a gorilla. “I’m not being the Gorilla” said Tom, “I’ll be the banana” (isn’t it great when dressing up as a banana is suddenly the better option).

We then had to discuss with Sean, who had his eye on wearing a normal LRF vest and shorts, (but had made the fatal mistake of going away for the weekend when he should have been at a meeting), that he may have to be dressed as a gorilla for twenty six miles.

So we did the decent thing, let him come back from his break and then debated at length the possibility of him wearing a full skin costume for the event. Actually, we text him with the message “Looks like you are a gorilla. Unlucky”. He gave a one word reply that would be inappropriate to use on this blog. Although I can reveal it began with a ‘B’ and rhymed with ‘plastereds’.

After having a good laugh at his misfortune we sent him another text which said “Or you could be Jane” Would you believe it, he fell for it hook line and sinker…..I mean, he contemplated the suggestion and agreed with the reply “If it means raising money for LRF I will dress up as anything”. (He obviously left the ‘apart from a gorilla’ bit off the end of his text).

So we had our Trio. Tarzan, Jane and the banana.

Lesson of the day. If you really want somebody to do something, first ask them to dress up as a gorilla.

More boring anecdotes to follow.

Tarzan x

A slice of news from Banana HQ - (Friday 20/06)

“He’s doing what?”,

may have been the first reaction to Tony’s Tarzan idea here at Banana HQ, but since then we’ve worked around the clock in our Banana HQ uniforms (see left) to make Tarzan’s fundraising dream a reality.

Cracking the knuckles and unleashing the banana-based puns we weaved words for the press release, tapped away at the website and spent many a happy minute ‘researching’ Facebook pages.

After battling to hold charity banners up in the breeze, we officially launched Tarzan’s Bananathon on a sunny Monday morning at the Manchester Royal Infirmary.

As camera bulbs flashed and our stars grinned, we watched a worryingly large group of builders gather at the Hospital gates. “What’s all this?” the onlookers said, as we handed out autographed press releases and explained that our run will have a route chosen by the Great British Public.

Waving to passing cars on Oxford Road, a chorus of beeps and honks rang out as the Bananathon bunch lapped the Hospital grounds.

Back in plain clothes and sipping a brew, we chatted to Tony, Sean and Tom about what would happen next, chatting about blogs, flyers and Facebook.

Whizzing back to HQ on the tilting train, the interview requests started flooding in for our bunch of intrepid Bananathon runners.

Logging onto Facebook, we added links, videos, pictures and details to the charity’s official page and passed the message onto our online ‘friends’. Since then, interviews on Channel M, the Manchester Evening News, Radio Manchester and Pure FM have set the phones ringing with requests for visits for the most interactive fundraising event we’ve ever organised…

Over the coming weeks, we’ll grapple with massive maps of Manchester, Stockport, Gorton, Denton and Hyde as we build a route for Tarzan and his friends and try to find a post-race party venue.

At the heart of all the manic activity, we keep our eyes fixed on raising much-needed funds to beat blood cancers. Around 110,000 people are currently affected by blood cancer, the most common cause of cancer deaths in the under 35s.

So please cheer on Tarzan, Jane and the Banana as we aim to save lives in our lifetime

Banana HQ, Leukaemia Research

Something to watch... - (Thursday 19 June)

I really must get into the habit of taking my make up off before I go to bed - this morning I look like a cross between Letitia Dean and Billy Idol !

Hopefully this post will link in directly with Channel M's footage from Monday - we will see...

Next on the list of things to do is to create a map showing Tarzans bananathon confirmed stopping off points - but for now here's a nice video to watch

Jane x

Back To Training - (Thursday June 19)

After missing training over the weekend due to a cold (can bananas get colds?) and missing Monday due to my TV filming commitments - finally back training on Tuesday 4 X 6 minuets splits in Woodbank Park Stockport. Cant believe this but I actually missed the Banana suit, though Jane rubbing me down naked is Vaseline in an NHS toilet I did not.... If your reading Doctor it was not what you think! Need to get some practice of running in the banana so planning a 10k race soon in full banana kit. 7 miles this morning at 6:45am round the streets of Salford so training back on track.

Just got the GMR interview on BBCi thing -- what cracking radio -- Tony semi naked on the radio & our promo video on radio !!!! Think Tony must have revisited Oxfam on Oxford Rd for the "Chimp Pants"

After the launch this is all going down a storm.... my boss who is a big Emmerdale fan asked could she have one of the promo photos.... no problem one supplied ... with me looking fantastic with the boys... however she returned it and said .... " Have you got any of just Bob" !!!!!!

The Banana

New Nickname (Wednesday June 18th)

I have a new nickname, courtesy of BBC Radio Manchester's Heather Stott. "Chimp Pants!". She copped a flash of my 'Bill Grundys' when I popped into the studios dressed in a loincloth for a chat this morning. Patient confidentiality had stopped her other half, Ian, from telling her that he had been giving me root canal treatment for the past two years. Minutes earlier Heather had been a tad less descreet telling the whole of manchester a great story about noisy lovemaking, a cat, a budgie and her mother-in-law. What a job trying to follow that.

My wife, Ruth, often takes the Mickey out of me for not having heard any songs that are in the charts. I always tell her that I won't know it unless they play it on GMR. ( I know the name is different now, but I have a natural resistance to change, I still live in a land of Lady Di, Deidre Langton, Marathon Bars and New Mills Lo-Cost.) Driving over the M62 to Leeds the station goes Kapput at Rishworth Moor, but I've been a genuine long time fan of Heather Stott, along with Beswick, Dianne Oxberry, Jimmy Wagg and Eamonn (Don't call him Holmes) O'Neill. It's great when you meet someone you like on the radio or the telly and they come over just as warm in reality and that was the case with Heather today. Nice one.

You can listen to the interview for a week from today at http://www.bbc.co.uk/manchester/local_radio/ We are on after about an hour, but it's well worth listening to the 'noisy lovemaking' section early on in the show.

Elsewhere in Bananaman News. We have three more possible venues that we hope to have confirmed by the end of the week. A radio station, a sports store and a place where you can shop, both outside and in. Watch this space.

I did an interview with self confessed 'Rock Chick' Rachel Clegg today for Manchester Evening News which should see the light of the day either tomorrow or Friday tied in with pictures taken at MRI on Friday. We are having bets as to whether they use a shot of the three of us or just Tarzan.

The Sun once did a piece on the band I sing with 'White Van Man' www.myspace.com/whitevanmanrock and went to the trouble of sending a photographer to a car park in Hazel Grove where the band had gathered, taking time off work, and hiring a white van for the occasion. Multiple shots were taken of the whole band, in the van, on top of the van, around the van, every which way and we all waited with baited breath for the article. They published it with a cropped shot only showing my face.

White Van Man will be playing at the final venue of Tarzan's Bananathon, so if you know of a decent sized pub or social club or community centre that doesn't mind a bit of noise and would love to host a banging great party then get in touch via the website. We are playing an hour's set at The One World Festival, High Lea Park this Saturday June 21st between 5pm and 6pm if you fancy checking us out. http://www.oneworldfestival.org/ The One World is a great event, kid friendly and environmentally friendly too.

All for now

Tarzan

Channel M - (Tuesday 17 June)

Well what fantastic coverage from our friends over on Channel M (Sky channel 203), not only did they send a crew out to the MRI to film Tarzans bananathon team, they ran with us out onto the streets of Manchester then invited the boys (Jane was having her legs waxed) on to the evening news program for an interview with the one and only Andy Crane... and if that wasn't good enough we had the web site being ticker tapped across the bottom of the screen and a great repeat on the 9:30pm show with Tarzan, Jane and The Banana actually included in the opening news headline title shots.

Already sponsorship has started to come in to the Justgiving web site, last time I looked the overall total was already over a hundred quid - awesome !

This fetching picture is of The Banana aka Tom McNally - Tom hosts the most amazing parties, but makes an even better Banana.

26.2 miles inside a banana skin on the 13th September is going to be hard work - did you all know that Tom actually runs naked underneath that banana skin outfit ? He coats himself liberally with Vaseline to avoid chaffing and runs in the buff to avoid getting too sweaty - nice one Tom !

In the beginning - (Monday 16 June)

Well what a bizarre day, in fact what a bizarre few weeks !

If I go back a couple of months to mid April I received a text from Tony Audenshaw, a good friend of mine, asking if I'd like to get involved in fundraising for Leukaemia Research. As its something I've done as an individual (running marathons) over the past three years I jumped at the chance !

But there was a catch, I should have realised with it being called the 'Tarzans Bananathon' - what Tarzan (I mean Tony...) really needed was a Jane. Yes you've guessed it Sean was about to become Jane !

They say blonde's have more fun and it sure is true - a professional photoshoot was arranged with Helen Turton across at Yorkshire TV's studios and we will unveil more of these picture over the next few days and weeks.

Well there's so much to tell about how we got to today's press launch and all the hard work that has happened so far and will happen over the next three months and the brilliant team behind it all, but more of that later in our blog.

Today was a nice early start with Channel M and the press due to meet us at Manchester Royal Infirmary at 10:30. I'd decided to try and save a bit of time by putting on my makeup before leaving home, its not an easy job, especially with four days of stubble getting in the way !

So with make up on we picked up Tom (The Banana) and headed into Manchester. On the way in to town I realised I'd left my bra at home - well not actually my bra, but a bra borrowed late yesterday evening off my daughters friends Mum (its a long story...). To get round my bra-less state we called in at the Oxfam shop opposite MRI, much to the amusement of the assistants in the shop - after much rummaging in the the 'bra' box we found a little (well quite big actually...) black number which was the perfect addition to the skimpy LRF 'Jane' outfit.

The day itself was great experience, meeting so many new and friendly faces from LRF, MRI, Manchester Evening News and Channel M and such a great response from some of the patients we met at the hospital too - I'm really looking forward to September 13th !

Jane x