Thursday, October 2, 2008

Double D

And we're not talking about the size of Jane's falsies, even though they were as firm as a pair of coconuts dipped in vinegar, no this Double D refers to Dimitri's and Debenhams who both donated fantastic raffle prizes for Tarzan's Bananathon.
Harley Street

We arrived at Dimitris on a real high having just won £1000 at Manch235ter and were invited by Nuno (back right on the photo) to go and chat to his customers. We met a group who were on a works do from Leeds and serenaded some friends celebrating a birthday before posing for photographs with a few Emmerdale fans. One chap in the bar donated £20 in exchange for me posing on his Harley Davidson, it was just like being Marlon Brando....er dressed as Tarzan..... with a banana drinking lucozade sport in the background.


1st Floor- Perfume, 2nd Floor-Ladies Wear, 3rd Floor - Idiots

When we arrived at Debenhams we made our way straight up to the Childrens department where we were going to be signing flyers; unfortunately the staff were waiting to meet us on the ground floor and didn't spot a half naked man, a transvestite and a six foot banana working our way towards the escalators (security saw us but assumed we were Manchester City's midfield on a shopping spree). My wife, Ruth, took some pictures and presented us with some buffet pork pies which had been the one food I wanted to eat en route. It didn't seem right to eat pork pies in Debenhams so we decided to save them till later in the run when we would really appreciate them. Once we arrived at Tiger Tiger, the first thing I wanted was one of those succulent pies, alas they had been scoffed by Ruth and her mates who aren't even that keen on pies. Once the staff joined us we signed a few photos and then made our way back to the ground floor where Jane was in her element.

That's why Ladies cross their legs.

With Tarzan and The Banana utilising the store's inner sanctum, Jane was given a full makeover and the opportunity to compare having make up applied by a professional artist whilst sat in a softly padded chair in a well lit room with her previous method of slapping it on whilst jiggling along in a moving car.


My, what big lips you have, Mr Wolf

The former won hands down and for the stretch along Market Street to Chisholm Hunter, Jane was beating testosterone fuelled Mancs off with a gnarled stick.

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